Love Hurts



Our son was reading a book to me this afternoon.  The story was about the Puritans, who sailed from Holland to the New World in the early 1600s…

“My wife, Dorothy, and I have decided to leave behind our three-year-old son, John.  The journey is expected to be dangerous.  We have wrestled in mighty prayer to know whether or not we should bring him.  We believe that God has told us that John would be safer if he stayed.  He will be cared for…”

(an excerpt from “Rush Revere and the Brave Pilgrims,” by Rush Limbaugh)

As he read, an image of his biological mother suddenly came to mind.  Granted, she did not ask that he be adopted.  Unlike the Puritans of old, she did not leave him with us to protect him from the dangers that lay ahead.  Sadly, she could not see with clarity her own struggles and fought every step of the way against the adoption.

In a bit of a turnaround, he (our son) was the one who needed to go on a journey… to his own “new world.”  He had no idea who to trust or what to expect.  He knew that he could no longer remain with his mother, but whether he truly understood why…  We may never know.

What I felt in that moment – as I sat looking at him read – was a sense of awe and wonder.

Does our son know that it is okay to still love his mother?  Does he know that it is perfectly natural to miss her?  I wondered if he ever does.  My heart was moved to hope that he will remember her from time to time.  He needs to remember.  He needs to grieve.

I thought back on the Puritans and how it must have hurt them to leave behind those they loved and venture on to a world yet unknown.  What great faith they must have had!

In a similar way, I found myself sitting beside a young man who has no idea yet how very strong he really is.  He doesn’t know it, perhaps, but it took great faith for him, too…

Cast all your worries upon him because he cares for you.  (1 Peter 5:7)

“The Child Who Was Never Born”

Sculpture by Martin Hudaceka

Though originally created to grieve the pain and loss of abortion, this sculpture speaks volumes.  In its haunting simplicity, it gives us a glimpse into the heart and soul of every woman who has ever longed for a child whom they could not hold.

Former First Lady Laura Bush, in her book, “Spoken from the Heart,” says it all:

The English language lacks the words to mourn an absence.  For the loss of a parent, grandparent, spouse, child, or friend, we have all manner of words and phrases, some helpful, some not.  Still, we are conditioned to say something, even if it is only, “I am sorry for your loss.”  But for an absence, for someone who was never there at all, we are wordless to capture that particular emptiness.  For those who deeply want children and are denied them, those missing babies hover like silent, ephemeral shadows over their lives.  Who can describe the feel of a tiny hand that is never held?

“Finding Forever” is a blog about HOPE!

The journey does not end in grief…  We must pass through the grief and allow God to heal us.  Only then can we find a new beginning.

With love from your sisters on the journey…

Jen & Terri